Human Resources: Desert Blooms

Things are not what they appear at a secretive hedge fund where a group of high potential youngsters are assembled to form the nation state of Israel. They rise to serve the existing ranks of the company which are largely hostile and seek to impose the yoke upon them. The young people organize and chase off the imperialists, commandeering the King David Hotel by showing nonlinearity in estimates which are demanded in linear terms. The insights are totally ignored. The King David Hotel is then destroyed as orders by phone for the people inside to be evacuated are ignored. The entire strategy for trading a commodity is proven to be a farce as it contradicts all media reporting. The strategy is shut down. Later, the imperialists evacuate and the young people are transferred to a new group, overtly rehired rather than being given a severance. New guy in town is A-Rab from West Side Story who keeps his jawline shaved clean, his behavior in between southern and paper tiger, his manners screaming fantastical Nazi isn’t even that bad, and his street skills in bowling give away he likes to keep his whites separate from his wongs when his friends play bowl on the desk, as he divides up the group. Israeli Arab war ensues with red faced A-Rab from America, POD and Santana, and by the way he went to MIT where he solved lots of puzzles making up results and then running regressions again the opposite way. He lost and I can’t tell you what happened next if I left with a smile and he got up to do his job pointing his instructions to his boys at their computer screens as they led me away. His last words to me on the desk were “calm down” and his friends made much of that planted weasel word as the man is a Wikipedia entry in between Facebook and LinkedIn. But after our meeting he gave a sad whimper and nodded his head. Two years later this star trader A-Rab was fired. It is a cut-throat place but not if you know who your friends are. Israel is still here, they are not. It’s too bad every once in a while people get up to exterminate us as we always manage to survive but a lot of people have to suffer in between. Let’s call this hedge fund Monument. We are the real Monument just like some in Japan would say they are the real China…. yeah right. I can’t talk about where I worked in detail. But I can tell you what real Monument is. Real Monument is a bunch of cash not a bunch of people. And the bunch of cash sponsors the project Israel because there are three hundred million Arabs and ten million Jews but as Kennedy said, we support Israel because it is right. I should say we sponsor the project Citadel in these young people as that is where I worked the year they harbored dreams to become an investment bank and that is all I know. What a wonderful place.

 

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